Lately, a lot of people, especially young people, have been complaining to me how the relationship that exists between them and their mentor or spiritual father is no longer cordial.
They wonder what could be the reason for the downward spiral and loss of fervour and maybe, favour, in the relationship.
Some mentors and coaches may not tell you why they are losing interest in you but I will tell you on their behalf through this post.
The truth is that no matter how busy someone is, he still sacrifices time to connect and relate with someone dear to his heart.
The following are the reasons:
- YOU ARE ABUSING THE PRIVILEGE OF ACCEPTANCE AND ACCESS
No great person wants to be taken for granted. When you start abusing the privilege of acceptance and access, you will lose the relationship with you mentor, coach or spiritual father. Honour is the bond in relationships. “If I be your father, where is my honour”?
That your mentor is humble, simple and accessible does not mean you should not be sensible when relating with him.
Everybody can perceive dishonour when it is manifesting.
- YOU DON’T RESPOND TO HIS INVITATIONS OR ATTEND HIS MEETINGS
When Moses sent for Korah, Dathan and Abiram and the refused to honour the invitation, he was provoked.
When David was absent from the feast for some days consecutively, Saul was angry.
Every mentor, coach or spiritual father is always on the lookout for mentees, proteges and sons that attend their meetings.
It’s worse if both of you are in the same city but you don’t attend the major meetings or celebrations of your mentor or father.
The more you stay away from the meetings and programs of your father and mentor, the more you kill the relationship without knowing.
- YOU ARE EASILY OFFENDED
Jesus Christ said, “blessed is he that is not offended in me.” One of the names of Jesus Christ is “The Rock of offence”. This implies that as you follow a man, there are things you will see in him that may offend you but choose not to be offended and follow till you get what connected you to him in the first instance.
- YOU TALK TOO MUCH AND CANNOT KEEP SECRETS
Ham, Noah’s son, saw his father’s nakedness and told it to others. King David said, “tell it not in Gath, publish it not in the streets of Askelon”. In associating with great people, you must be discreet and keep sealed lips.
If you talk too much, you will lose too much.
- YOU ARE NOT MAKING PROGRESS AFTER YEARS OF MENTORSHIP
A lot of mentors can’t stand unfruitful mentees. Jesus Christ gave a parable about the owner of a vineyard that ordered a particular tree to be cut down because it didn’t bear fruit after 3 years of labouring on it.
If your mentor is making progress and you are not, even after many years of his mentorship, he will start losing interest in you.
- YOU HAVE TOO MANY SCANDALS AND SPOIL HIS REPUTATION BY YOUR INDISCRETION
It is true that a good mentor stands by his mentees in times of trouble. However, when you keep having avoidable troubles and scandals incessantly, especially after several warnings, counsels, admonitions and instructions, your mentor will start losing interest in you.
- YOU ARE A BURDEN AND NOT A BLESSING
Life is give and take. If you have nothing to offer in a relationship, you will lose that relationship and this applies to all kinds of relationships.
Conclusively, no mentor hates his mentee and no father hates his son.