MY ADVICE TO ALL MARRIED MEN – Pst. Tope Popoola

  1. If you value your health and you want to live long and have a happy home, let your wife always win an argument. Trust me, it’s the shortcut I know to peace of mind! Where there is no wood (fuel), the fire goes out!
  2. Stop trying to figure out your wife or understand why she does what she does. It’s a waste of precious time. Remember that you (Adam) were put to sleep while she (Eve) was being produced? How can you try to understand an equipment that wasn’t assembled in your presence?
  3. Marriage is about ACCEPTANCE, not tolerance. Make your marriage relationship-driven, not performance-driven. She was NOT created in your image. Stop projecting YOU into her. Show her the need for change through leadership, not coercion.
  4. While a man is rational, the woman is emotional. One (the man) processes via his head, the other processes things through her heart (emotions). One thinks things through, the other feels her way through things. Facts drive you. Intuition drives her. What she can’t FEEL, she doesn’t SEE!
  5. When sex becomes a weapon, a duty or an entitlement, it loses its very essence, LOVE-MAKING. It simply becomes another chore like dish-washing which nobody looks forward to doing! Play with her. Flirt with her. Serenade her. Hug. Cuddle. Hold hands. Surprise her. Blow gently into her ears while she is cooking or while you are watching a movie together. Be spontaneous. Being a king-kong overlord in “ze oza room” and puffing and panting like a worn-out locomotive while she wonders what just happened can only lead to frustration. Remember, it is never about the size of the weapon but the fury of the attack! (Decode that!)
  6. Go out often. Make regular, unscheduled date nights. Take a bath together. Make room for movie nights together either at home or at the cinema.
  7. Remember that ONLY THE TWO OF YOU started the journey together and when the children have jumped the nest, only the two of you will remain. So, keep the bond ALL THE WAY and never drop the ball
  8. Impregnate her with VISION. Allow her to dream too. Every woman loves a man working towards a future in which she can feature. Remember, woman simply means “womb man”. She always wants something to incubate and nourish. You give her a seed, she incubates it and turns it to a baby for you
  9. She is your wife, a companion and confidant, not a washing machine, cook or slave. You can’t wear her out with chores all day and expect to ‘ride’ a functional “bicycle” all night! Impossicant! Partners help partners by giving a helping hand where needed, even without being told.
  10. Love is not 50/50. It is 100%. God didn’t say to love your wife when she is submissive. It simply says love her as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.
  11. Be PRESENT. Don’t be at home married to your computer or football game. Listen when she wants to talk. Even when you don’t know what to contribute to the discourse, you will soon discover that all she wanted was for you to listen. Your opinion may not even count!
  12. If both of you are born again children of God, you are actually SIBLINGS!!! You have the same Father and the same father-in-law, GOD!!! Ever thought of that? Treat your wife with the dignity you would accord your blood sister. If you are fond of disgracing your wife in public and calling her all sorts of unprintable names, remember, it wasn’t God who named EVE. He created a woman, Adam gave her a name. Whatever you call your wife, that is what she will reflect to you. If you call your wife a Jezebel, we need to check if your middle name isn’t Ahab! Call her your Queen and she will make you her crown! It takes one to find one! When you see the glory of your Father in her, you will be a great son-in-law too! A wife you don’t honour cannot bring honour to you too.

Trust me, with 33 years of happy, functional, faithful marriage under my belt until death did us part, these principles work – and very well too!!!
May your home reflect the mind of God!!!
Sincerely yours,
Tope Popoola
The Maverick

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