99% of the challenges faced today by Christian couples (the ones majorly caused by men) will be solved if every Christian man understands the organic synergy between them and their wives.
No Christian brother is ready for marriage yet until he thoroughly understands the “headship relationship” between Christ and the Church, for that is the Model and Template for Christian marriages – 1 Cor.11:3, Eph. 5:28-33.
The thought is that whatever Christ as the “Head of the Church” will not say or do to the Church, you must not say or do to your wife.
The concept of “headship” in Christian marriages talks more about “organic union” than something mechanical or something that happens by default.
The day you realize that you as the “head” of that woman means that you’re the “face” of that woman; you give identity to her and that people see you in her, that’s the day you realize the weight of the sacred responsibility of being the “head”.
That will then mean that whatever you say or do to your wife is indirectly directed at you.
This therefore gives you the latitude to determine the outlook of that marriage, because the man is the “HEAD”; not a “FIGUREHEAD”.
Let’s break this down a bit. If you take good care of your wife, you’re indirectly taking good care of yourself.
If you honour your wife both in private and in public, you’re indirectly honouring yourself.
Conversely, if you rubbish your wife and you think you’re attacking her or taking undue advantage of her, my friend, you’re directing those shots at yourself.
Time will be the processor and revealer. A man who dishonours his wife is by default dishonourable.
A man who tells his wife that her head is not correct is only referring to himself because he’s the head.
Just like Jesus Christ, the Head of the Church, told Saul of Tarsus that it was He that he was persecuting – Acts 9:4, not just the Christians, anyone that attacks your wife attacks you.
Jesus’ response to Saul of Tarsus shows the organic relationship between Christ and the Church.
It shows that Christ is the Face of the Church and that He gives identity to the Church.
Little wonder He also told His disciples that “He that receives you receives me” – Matt. 10:40.
This is a deep spiritual mystery and it’s not to be taken lightly. This is the heart of Paul’s teaching on Christian marriage – it mirrors the relationship between Christ and the Church – Eph.5:28-33.
In marriage, two people have become one under God’s authority through Christ. Therefore they’re no more two but “one flesh” – Matt. 19:6, Eph. 5:31.
Going by this organic relationship between the husband and the wife, as exemplified by Christ as the HEAD and the Church as the BODY, it therefore follows that maltreating your wife is like NOT RIGHTLY DISCERNING “THE BODY OF CHRIST” – 1 Cor. 11:29-30.
And that is a GRAVE thing in the sight of God. By Paul’s teaching, the husband is like the HEAD while the wife is like the BODY, just like Christ and the Church.
Therefore treating your wife well in accordance with Biblical injunctions is “likened” to “RIGHTLY DISCERNING THE LORD’S BODY”.
Anything that falls short of that standard cannot be reckoned with in the sight of God.
The mystery of the marriage union is therefore seen in the sense that the man and woman have become ORGANICALLY INSEPARABLE.
Treating one’s wife shabbily therefore is shooting oneself in the leg.
And treating one’s wife with honour, dignity, respectability and decorum is sowing great seeds that will come back to one in a bountiful harvest of life and peace.
The Apostle Peter says to give HONOUR to the wife and be sensitive to her emotional configuration:
1 PETER 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, GIVING HONOUR UNTO THE WIFE, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
The bottomline is to realize that WHATEVER YOU DO TO YOUR WIFE, YOU DO TO YOURSELF.
When this truth is etched on the canvass of our hearts, then we will become great husbands that God designed us to be.
A man who has not really understood this fact is therefore not yet ready for marriage; he should be under tutelage.
We talk more about the “girl child” but it’s my strong conviction that it is high time we began a massive orientation on the training and development of the “boy child”.
We need this balance to build a sane society and great homes where righteousness reigns and Christ is glorified.
May the Lord help us all!