“Being a Christian Doesn’t Mean You Cannot fall Victim to Extramarital Affairs!!!”
– Folorunso Alakija
Businesswoman, evangelist, philanthropist and the author of ‘University of Marriage’.
She has been married for over 40 years.
God is the creator of marriage and he desires that we should have successful marriages. We need to always go to the creator and architect of that institution, and as we do, we can’t get to Him without going to His word.
According to Genesis 2:18, God said it is not good for man to be alone and that he made a helper for man so he will not be a standalone. The way He created man and woman, we know that each one of us, the two different sexes, have different roles to play in family building. The scripture above makes it clear that God made a HELPER and not HELPERS! That is as a result of God’s ordination of marriage for only ONE MAN and ONE WOMAN, not ONE MAN and many OTHER WOMEN!
The second plan of God for marriage is that no man will put asunder what God has brought together.
When we were taking our oaths – while getting married, we said for better and/or for worse. Whatever the case is, there should be no separation, there should be no dissolution and there should be no divorce. The Bible also tells us that marriage is honourable (Heb 13:4).
Hebrews 13:4 (KJV) Marriage is honourable in all, AND THE BED UNDEFILED: but whoremongers (or fornicators) and adulterers God will judge.
Men and women both indulge in adultery these days. It used to be just the men, but it seems as if the women are saying ‘you know what, I know how to do that too!’
Is it the will of God? The answer is a resounding NO! The fact that somebody did something wrong does not mean that the other party should also do the same.
Wrong does not negate wrong in anyway!
* Infidelity is getting rampant in our day despite the fact that it is not the will of God.
* The fact that you are a Christian does not mean that you are out of the woods. Just because you read your Bible, you claim to be a Christian and you go to church does not mean that you cannot fall prey! You do not have immunity to it just because you are a Christian.
* According to a report by the American Psychological Association in 2014, we were told that people who have affairs are more likely to be divorced, distressed or disappointed. (Over) 16 years later, this has not reduced; it has only gotten worse.
WHY DO PEOPLE CHEAT ON THEIR SPOUSES?
1) DIFFERENCE in personalities
2) PHYSICAL distance between couples
3) LONG-STANDING misunderstanding
5) NEGLECT of the partner
6) ABUSE (Physical and Emotional)
7) ‘ASSISTANCE’ received from a third-party
HOW DO WE PROTECT OUR MARRIAGE FROM AFFAIRS?
– As believers, there are things that we have to put in place in order to guard against this menace.
1) LEARN to avoid highly emotional situations
* Avoid lunch/dinner dates with the opposite sex (who is not your spouse), especially when no colleague will be present.
2) BE wary of accepting rides from the opposite sex.
* Avoid giving onlookers an opportunity to cast aspersion on your integrity.
3) PRAISE your spouse
* Always acknowledge what your spouse does right.
* Appreciate your spouse’s looks.
* Appreciate the efforts that your spouse makes in any area.
* Give out accolades and compliments to your partner REGULARLY.
* Boost your spouse’s self-esteem anywhere and everywhere.
When a person’s self-esteem is lowered, he/she might be tempted to find solace elsewhere.
* Be proud of your spouse and be ready to shout it on the rooftops.
* Be polite to your spouse.
* Respect your spouse and always be courteous.
4) PLAY with your spouse
* Date your spouse again and again.
* Relate with your spouse excitedly as if you are just courting all over again.
* Don’t deprive each other of intimacy unless you have both agreed for spiritual reasons.
5) PRAY for your spouse
* The Bible says that devil goes about like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. Principles are not enough.
* There are also human predators (of the opposite sex) who are trying to get into one’s marriage to get one out while they step in.
Therefore, STAND GUARD FOR YOUR SPOUSE AND KEEP THE DEVIL AND HIS AGENTS AWAY.
WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR SPOUSE CHEATS?
1) DON’T leave!
* Leaving only opens up the marriage for more attacks.
2) LEARN to forgive (even when it is not easy to do so)
3) LEARN to communicate with one another
4) RECOMMIT to each other, start over and build a stronger relationship with one another.
* If necessary, involve MORE MATURE counsellors – who understand God’s precepts and guide ACCORDING TO HIS WILL.
5) GENUINE repentance is essential
* Cut off from any possibility of reoccurence.
6) PRAY together
Most people do not PLAN to be unfaithful, but they put themselves in postions that allow them to be tempted.
I PRAY THAT THE SPIRIT OF ‘ASUNDER’ WILL CEASE IN EVERY MARRIAGE IN THE NAME JESUS!
– Folorunso Alakija at the University of Marriage Conference (September 2020)
Source: Channels TV, Church Gist